Izaya's Ring
by CircusRunaway
Summary: Sequel to Shizuo's Bow Tie. What have we gotten ourselves into? Shizaya/Izuo!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** YOU GUYS! HI! For some reason, I'm super excited to write this note to you, because I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever, even though some of you read my other stories as well. I just feel like I haven't given you any good gifts for a while, and I reread all my reviews the other night (my god I love you all) and I'm absolutely obsessed with how some of you have favorite characters! It made me all explode-ish inside and made me want to write a sequel, and then I was on tumblr (when am I not?) and I was reading shizayaconfessions (I love their blog, you should definitely check it out) and a huge beam of inspiration shot out of my computer and straight into my keyboard. Sorry for rambling. And to all my dedicated readers out there, I'm so sorry for updating Sanity is Overrated so late. I'll make it up to you, I promise. I've already started the next chapter, and finals are coming up, so I'll be doing a lot of procrastinating… aka updating my fanfics.

And KILL ME NOW this story was supposed to be a oneshot. Just like the first one. But then it escalated into something I was not expecting at all. So the next chapter should be the last one. Please tell me if it sucks, because if it does, I'll stop. I don't want to ruin Shizuo's Bow Tie for anyone.

**Rated: **M

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><p>This is not good. This is <em>so <em>not good.

I'm sitting on Shizuo's nose, glaring across the table at Jacket. Her human is licking up and down a spoon slowly, and I can feel beads of sweat sliding between Shizuo's skin and me.

"Don't look at _me _like that!" Jacket snaps when she sees my glower. "I'm not the one seducing your human!"

"Can't you keep him restrained for at least two minutes?" I retort. I know it's not her fault, but I can only handle so many sex noises in one day. And it really irritates me that Jacket actually… _likes it._

"Ohh I hope they do it on the kitchen table this time!" Jacket squeals, her fur ruffling. See what I have to deal with?

"Fuck, dawg! Now dats just wrong!" cries Bow Tie from below.

"But they haven't done it on the kitchen table yet!" she exclaims. I realize that Jacket's right, which is odd considering how many other strange places the two humans currently eye-fucking each other have done… _it._

You see, ever since Shizuo became infatuated with Mr. Scrawny over there (for reasons I still don't understand), I've discovered quite a few facts about our favorite blond that I would be perfectly well off without knowing. And the reason I'm slightly surprised that he hasn't pounded the raven into the table yet, is that Shizuo possesses the abnormal fetish of fucking _everywhere _but the bed. His favorite place to have sex is against the wall, but the list also includes fucking against the desk, the door, the window, the floor, etc. Izaya, the other hand, is apparently fond of playing in public places. Once, we were on the subway, and…

Ugh.

I don't know why these two are still together. The location of these events is not the only preference that differs between them. Shizuo, being inexplicably afraid of his own strength, likes to take things extremely slow, being gentle and sensual in his lengthy foreplay. On the other hand, I can tell from his body language (ew ew ew), that Izaya tries everything in his power to make Shizuo mad. And sometimes, it works. Izaya loves it, because apparently he absolutely _adores _angry sex.

Shizuo also has an obsession with Izaya's nipples, and Izaya can't keep his hands off Shizuo's ass. While Shizuo enjoys dry humping. Izaya acts like oral sex is the most pleasurable thing on the planet.

And unfortunately, Shizuo can't control himself when Izaya wears… me. And Izaya can't control himself when there's food play, bondage, or a camera involved. Izaya likes being in control, which is hard to do when the opponent of his dominance is Shizuo.

So, as you can see, our two humans are as different as Rick Perry and John Stewart. And I can't help but wonder what the hell we've gotten ourselves into. I mean, I wouldn't mind this relationship if it didn't involve you-know-what. Especially since Izaya is surprisingly kind to inanimate objects such as myself. A few days after the LPTNHAHINHABIPWI, Izaya stole me from Shizuo and replaced my broken glass. No matter how intense the sex between him and Shizuo becomes, Izaya makes sure to untie Bow Tie as soon as there's a chance the ex-bartender might rip him in half. Switchblade is always polished and sharp, Left Shoe is always placed conveniently close to Remote Control, and Right Shoe stays on top of the heating vent, where he can carry out his new favorite hobby of shouting down the vent and then listen to his echo. This list goes on and on, and sometimes I find myself not minding the sex so much if it means we can live like this for a little while more.

"Slice slice slice! TAKE THAT, PORK CHOP!" shrieks Switchblade as his human cuts into his meal. Izaya's ring clinks against Switchblade's handle loudly.

However, something about that ring has been freaking me out lately. I don't know what it is, exactly, but I get this weird feeling every time I look at it. Jacket got really defensive when I brought it up to her a few days ago. I don't understand why she cared so much, but she went off spewing some nonsense about Izaya simply _knowing _what she wants, like he has this sixth sense or something, and some other crap that didn't have anything to do with the ring. I mean, I totally agree about that sixth-sense thing, but I don't see how it relates to that ring at all. Maybe I'm just thinking too hard about it. Maybe it's the way that ring glints when the sun hits it, or how Izaya never takes it off no matter what he's doing…

Or maybe Left Shoe and Remote Control have been making me watch Lord of the Rings too often. I swear, if I have to sit there and listen to Sam shout Frodo's name one more time, the ring won't be the only thing suffering the wrath of Mount Doom.

"Does anyone else get freaked out by that ring?" I ask, ignoring Jacket's puffs of anger. Her human looks up at me and smirks, and for a moment I'm taken aback… but then I remember he's looking at Shizuo _through _me.

Der der derrr. I'm so dumb.

"Yo Specs, I totally see wut you getting' at," replies Bow Tie. "Dat dudes been botherin' me since I first seen him, you know? He's so… quiet like."

"FRODOOOO!" shouts Right Shoe.

"FRODOO Frodoo frodoo," shouts Right Shoe's echo.

"Shut up with the Frodo! You're not Samwise Gamgee!" I yell.

"YOUR TEA IS READY! WEEEEEEEEEEEEH!"

Izaya finally pulls his gaze away from Shizuo, who was beginning to shift restlessly in his chair. Jacket flutters away with her human to take Kettle off the stove, returning to pour some into Shizuo's teacup. He sits back down, careful not to sit on Jacket's fringe, and watches Shizuo slowly bring his cup to his lips.

But the raven quickly stops him, seeming to think of something important. He leans across the table and pulls me from Shizuo's face, and I'm slightly relieved that I'm no longer sitting on a shaking pile of hormonal sweat.

But then I'm flipped around, and then I'm staring at my blond human from my new spot on Izaya's nose.

"Uh oh," says Bow Tie.

Shizuo's face is red, and he quickly tries to hide it by taking a huge gulp of steaming tea.

Izaya vibrates beneath me as he says something; his voice is low, and I see Shizuo's expression morph into a furious snarl. And then-

_BAM!_

Shizuo falls violently into his half-eaten pork chop, and Izaya begins to laugh hysterically. Shizuo's out cold.

"Uh…" I say.

"SWING! SLEEPING DRUGS!" shouts Switchblade. Jacket giggles along with her master, the three of them apparently finding the situation unbelievably funny. Well, at least Izaya took me off Shizuo's face before it smashed into his dinner plate.

"NOT COOL, MASHED POTATOES!" shouts Bow Tie from under Shizuo's body. I'm assuming he fell right into the mashed potatoes.

Izaya gets up and circles the table, much like he's stalking his prey. He pulls Shizuo out of his chair, and sure enough, Bow Tie is covered in mashed potatoes.

Oh, but don't worry. Like I said before, Izaya loves food play.

"DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND! FINE! I'MTOOFASTFORYOUANYWAY!" hollers Switchblade as Izaya leaves him next to the pork chops.

Izaya takes his time dragging the other human to the bedroom, but it's such an effort that by the time we reach the threshold, Izaya has to push me back up the length of his sweaty nose nose to keep me from falling off. He wipes the moisture from his forehead, before hauling Shizuo up onto the mattress and taking a short break. For some reason, the scrawny human made sure to put poor, unconscious Shizuo's head at the foot of the bed, with his feet at the top.

"This. Is. So. Exciting." Jacket whispers, sounding almost as out of breath as her human. Izaya laughs to himself before carefully untying Bow Tie from around Shizuo's neck, and setting him on the nightstand right next to the video. He bought the video camera right after the LPTNHAHINHABIPWI, on the very same trip he took to have my glass replaced. What a bittersweet shopping spree. He pushes the red button on the video camera and angles it at Shizuo's face, before moving back onto the bed.

"Aaaand, ACTION!" announces Video Camera.

Oh, did I mention she has a personality as well? And unfortunately, she is one hundred percent on Jacket's side with this whole sex thing.

"I feel so unfresh, homie," complains Bow Tie, still covered in food.

Hmm… Izaya is in complete control (clearly he plans on topping again), and yet he's not going to use bondage tonight? He ducks under the bed, coming up with what looks like leather handcuffs.

Never mind.

He proceeds to strap Shizuo to the bars at the foot of the bed. He undoes the buttons on Shizuo's vest and shirt, revealing the smooth, sheen skin underneath. He then moves down to remove Shizuo's belt and slides off the pants.

Shizuo stirs in his sleep.

"OH MY GOD HERE WE GO!" screeches Jacket.

"Good, perfect! This lighting is simply magnificent!" exclaims Video Camera.

"Those lucky fucking shoes, out there watching television and screaming down air vents," I grumble. I can hear a Spanish soap opera playing out in the living room.

"Yo yo yo dis jam gotz ta be da beez knees, makin' men look fine, hanging 'round yo neck, freshin' up da room, flyin' down da hill," Bow Tie begins his mantra.

At the sound of Shizuo waking up, Izaya frantically pulls his own pants off, but he leaves his shirt and Jacket on. He climbs on top of the blond, but before he settles down completely, he brings his hands up to strategically adjust me on his face. I can feel his cheeks rise in a smile before he lowers his hands, and I catch the ring on his hand glinting in my glass before it disappears somewhere under Shizuo's ass.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Shizuo's eyes open, looking around blearily before locking onto Izaya. This is always the most uncomfortable moments for me, when I'm stuck in the middle of what I like to call either-fuck-me-or-kill-me gazes. Izaya's the first one to move, mumbling something that causes Shizuo to freeze in either fear or anticipation… or both.

And then we're off.

"Oh my god, look at the way Shizuo is looking at us," sighs Jacket.

"He's looking at Izaya," I correct her.

"I know, I know. But look! He's all red! And it's all because of _you_," adds Jacket.

"You are such a bitch," I tell her, and Video Camera shushes me.

"Bow Tie Bow Tie, how cool you be? Man, I gotz eight bitches all comin' at me," raps Bow Tie. Not gonna lie, his rap sounds more like a hopscotch song today.

Shizuo is pulling at his bonds, clearly upset that Izaya upgraded to something sturdier than Bow Tie. Not that he couldn't break through them if he really wanted to. Which disturbs me even more, because he's choosing to stay in this position.

"Wooooah!" I shout, tightening around Izaya's ears as he leans in fast for a kiss. I'm never prepared for those, especially when whoever's wearing me is on top. Gravity is not my friend, as you may have noticed form my past experiences.

The kiss is too long. How do they breathe? I see a flash of teeth, twisting tongues, along with the sounds of rather sexual noises I would not like to describe.

Out of breath, Izaya sits up. Shizuo looks completely ravaged, flushed and panting, his arms not even fighting the restraints. Izaya murmurs something and gropes Shizuo's butt, and thank god I can't see what's going on under there.

But then suddenly, Shizuo tenses up.

His eyes flash angrily at Izaya, and he growls threateningly. Even I'm scared. But Izaya doesn't seem fazed (go figure), and begins explaining something.

I'm so confused.

"Jacket, what's going on?" I ask.

"Oh, upset at the hold-up?" Jacket inquires.

"I just want to get this over with as quickly as possible," I say. I'm telling the truth, okay?

"Suuure," sneers Jacket, but she continues. "It seems as though our uke for the day does not enjoy being fingered… as usual."

"Being…. what?"

She sighs. "You know, like, what they do to each other before sex EVERY TIME? Sheesh, where have you been?"

"Honestly," I say, "I try not to pay attention to what actually goes on down there."

"Well now you know," snaps Jacket.

"Shhh! They're continuing!" Video Camera says passionately.

Now that I know what's going on, I still can't really believe it. Why would they, no, why would _anyone _want to stick their fingers up another human's ass? I mean, they _eat_ with those! And they _poop _with those other things!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU HUMANS?

Now trying not to look is a lot harder than it was before. I try to keep my gaze on Shizuo, I really do, but as soon as his eyes hood over and he begins to cry out, I find my gaze drifting downwards…

NO! Thou shalt not look! DO NOT LOOK!

OH MY GOD I'M LOOKING AND I'M NOT LOOKING AWAY BECAUSE I CAN'T LOOK AWAY! HELP! HELP! WHAT THE FUCK! POLíCIA!

His finger! Now two fingers! And there's the ring! I _knew _there was a reason I didn't like that thing! Too quiet, too shiny, and TOO MUCH OF A PARTICIPANT. That traitor!

It's glinting at me one moment, and then it's gone the next. Each time it goes in, Shizuo lets out a different sound. I slide down Izaya's slippery nose, and YES please god, let me fall off somewhere to die in peace! But no, Izaya pushes me back up with his other hand and continues what he's doing on Shizuo.

"Ice in da box, let da shorties know I'm realz yo erreday," I hear Bow Tie faintly in the background.

The raven leans down and begins licking Shizuo's length. I know for a fact that this has never happened before. Well, Izaya has performed a blowjob before (oral sex is his favorite, remember?), but never with this finger thing. And apparently, it's all too much for Shizuo, because I suddenly hear him shout, and-

_SNAP!_

The leather bonds break as he sits up fast, and Izaya quickly pulls his fingers out and scrambles backwards to the head of the bed. Shizuo follows, crawling over before freezing and wiggling his hips slightly.

What is he doing?

The blond looks back at his butt with wide eyes, wiggling his hips from side to side, much to Izaya's amusement. Shizuo turns slowly and shouts at Izaya, pointing at his hand. Izaya brings it up to his face, his laughter cutting off as he freezes.

The ring.

The ring is gone.

THE RING IS GONE, WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT TRAITOR GO?

And then Shizuo points at his ass, still yelling at Izaya. And I finally figure it out.

The traitor is up Shizuo's asshole.

Izaya is not reacting like I thought he would be. He should be running for his life, but instead, he is completely still in shock. He's still looking at his hand.

And then he moves.

For some reason, his first instinct is not to flee, but to grab Bow Tie off the table and hold him up to his ear.

"Watchu doin, fool?" Bow Tie stops his rap to question Izaya. Izaya shakes Bow Tie a little, listening intently again. "Uhhh," Bow Tie trails off, as confused as I am.

Shizuo lunges at Izaya when the raven continues to ignore him. Izaya, finally come back to his senses, shoots off the bed in panic. Shizuo's hands barely miss the edge of Jacket, and I fall onto the mattress as Izaya runs from the scene with Bow Tie still in hand. Shizuo follows, leaving me behind as their shouts fade away somewhere else in the building. And then they're gone, probably fighting in the streets somewhere, half-naked and spoiling a perfectly good day for innocent children everywhere.

"Aaaand cut!" screams Video Camera. "Not what I was expecting, but brilliant!"

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" the shoes shout in unison from the next room. I'm trying to figure it out myself. My mind's still reeling, but I somehow manage to answer them accurately.

"Izaya's ring got stuck in Shizuo's ass!" I shout back, hoping I won't have to repeat myself to those obnoxious deaf souls.

There's a moment of calm, and I think that for once that they understood me, and are just too shocked to reply.

"OH HOW EMBARASSING!"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IZAYA'S THING GOT STUCK, AND THEN SHIZUO SCARED HIM OFF WITH HIS GAS!"

"HAHAHA!"

Kill me.

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><p>Shizuo comes back a few hours later without Izaya. Meaning that guy is still out there, ruining the world with his scrawny nakedness.<p>

Shizuo somehow managed to find some clothes while he was gone, but the pants are too small on him. The first thing he does is take a shower, and then pull on his normal pants that were still crumpled on the bedroom floor. I wonder if the ring is still… you know. He picks me up tiredly and reaches for Bow Tie, only then realizing Izaya still has him.

Poor Bow Tie. Wherever he is, I hope he's at least finally clean.

Video Camera ran out of batteries a while ago, which was nice and quiet at first, but then I got lonely. So I'm basically ecstatic when Shizuo brings me back into the main room, where the other objects I can talk to are resting.

I notice that Switchblade isn't on the table anymore. Izaya must have grabbed him on his way out. The front door is off its hinges, but besides that, the room is how it looked during dinner.

Shizuo puts Kettle on the stove, going over to the couch sleepily. He eyes the television judgmentally as it plays an infomercial for jewelry. He picks up Remote Control, and then shoves Left Show off of the cushions so that he can sit down.

"OUCH! WATCH IT!" Left Shoe yells as he tumbles away. Shizuo jumps up and looks around the room. After a few seconds, he mumbles something and rubs his eyes, settling back down on the couch and pressing Remote Control.

"CLICK!" Remote Control screams. Shizuo jumps again and looks at the object in his hand. He presses again. "CLICK!"

Shizuo throws Remote Control at the ground, jumping onto the couch. None of us makes a sound. The clock ticks, ticks, ticks, ticks,

"TEEEEEEA! WOOOOHOOO! I LOVE TEAAAA!" Kettles shouts. Shizuo jumps again, this time falling off the back of the couch and hitting his head on the floor. He yells, jumping up and spinning around as Kettle continues to scream.

"HEELLOOOO! TIME TO DRINK TEA! ANYONE HOOOOOOME?"

"Oww, I think he broke my power button," whines Remote Control from the ground. Shizuo looks at it in panic, before running over to take Kettle off the stove. Kettle stops screaming, and Shizuo looks at it disbelievingly.

"Took you long enough, I thought my glass was gonna break," I grumble, more to myself than him, because obviously he can't- "WOAH!" I'm ripped away from Shizuo's face, and I find him looking down at me in horror.

"Umm…" I say. There's no way he can hear me, right? "Hello?"

Shizuo blinks down at me and says something.

"Can you understand me?" I ask, feeling a bit stupid. Shizuo says something else, but I can't understand it. He can't possibly understand me, otherwise I would be able to understand him too, right? That's only fair, but I can't be too sure…

"I can't understand what you're saying. Nod your head if you can hear me," I try.

This is stupid.

There's no way.

He can't possibly.

But then Shizuo nods his head.

"OH MY GOD! HOW? WHY? WHEN? YOU!" I shout, unable to control my emotions. Shizuo drops me. "OW! WHAT THE FUCK! PICK ME UP!"

Shizuo quickly does as he's told, cringing slightly when he bends down. The ring must still be stuck in him. Which means the ring must be doing this. The ring has given him the power to understand us.

That's why Izaya was so nice to us! Wow, what a great guy! He's so wonderful! All those things he did for us! All those times he-

Wait.

That cruel, vicious, bastard of an exhibitionist! HE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME HOW MUCH TORTURE THEY WERE PUTTING US THROUGH EVERYTIME THEY HAD SEX.

But I'll think about that later.

"HEY! SHOES!" I shout. "SHIZUO CAN UNDERSTAND US!"

"SHIZUO WANTS TO BRAND US?" shouts Right Shoe.

"WHAT IS THIS, THE EARLY 1800'S?" adds Left Shoe.

Shizuo jumps again, drops me, picks me up, looks around, and then he faints.

"Well," Remote Control says. "That didn't turn out half as well as it could have."

I knew there was something wrong with that ring.

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><p><strong>AN: **Fuck fuck fuckity fuck. That was not funny at all. I am so sorry. Let me know what you think, because I'm seriously wondering why I uploaded this. This chapter just didn't have enough dialogue from the shoes, I think. There will be much more humor in the next chapter... if there is one.

Oh, and if you aren't familiar with shizayaconfessions, this was based on an anon's comment: _I'm just waiting until someone writes a fic about Izaya fingering Shizuo and losing his ring inside._

_**Love, CircusRunaway**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything.

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><p>By the time Shizuo regains consciousness, he seems completely okay with the fact that his inanimate objects have personalities. I'm not that surprised, though, considering how normal he acts around that creepy headless human. When his temper isn't controlling him, Shizuo is actually an amazingly adaptable creature.<p>

The first thing he does is makes sure I'm okay. I keep telling him I'm fine, but he looks over my surfaces at least six times before he's convinced I don't have any scratches. He gently puts me back on his face, like he's suddenly afraid that breaking me would be the same thing as killing me. Which isn't exactly true, since I'm clearly okay (physically) after being shattered multiple times in the past.

He then pulls out a drawer and grabs a pack of cigarettes. He flips it open.

"Pick me! Pick meee!"

"No, pick me! I'm packed with more Nicotine!"

"Over here!"

"I love you the most, Shi-"

He throws it back into the drawer and slams it closed, rattling the kitchen cabinets.

"Just take one," I advise, feeling his temple twitch angrily. "Don't worry about it. They enjoy the sensation of slowly dying."

Shizuo shudders, and I decide to shut up as he storms out of the kitchen. He makes his way to the bedroom, passing through the flickering light of the muted television screen. The shoes and Remote Control don't speak, probably for fear of Shizuo passing out again.

Shizuo stops at the threshold of the messy bedroom, staring at Izaya's pants on the floor. He glances out the window as we move over to the bed.

He does a double take, making a horrified sound as he stares outside.

"What?" I ask, confused. Shizuo says something, running over to the window.

It's starting to snow.

Which means the scrawny human is out in dangerous weather, wearing only a shirt and Jacket. Without any pants or shoes on.

He's got Bow Tie, I guess. If Izaya got desperate, he could keep his wiener warm.

Poor Bow Tie. Bless his gangsta soul.

Shizuo runs to the closet, throws on a coat, and runs back to the bed. He rips everything from the bed (comforter and all) and packs it all into a small bundle in his arms. I almost slip off his nose when he leaves the room with such a fierce velocity, that I swear I start to melt under the friction of the air against my glass. Shizuo makes a quick stop by the air vent to ram his foot into Right Shoe, and looks frantically around for Left Shoe.

"Over by the couch," I say.

Shizuo mutters something and finds Left Shoe on the floor in the same place he tossed him earlier. Shizuo sighs and says something.

I wish he would stop doing that. He knows we can't understand him.

Less than nine seconds later, we're leaving the apartment complex. Shizuo hugs the blankets to his chest as hurries into the cold. His body jerks as he skids on some ice.

"BOY, MY RUBBER SURE ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE!" shouts Right Shoe.

Shizuo, who had just found his balance, jumps violently and falls flat on his ass. He must have forgotten they have personalities too.

"Sorry," I apologize. "Your shoes are partially deaf, so they like to scream when they talk."

He grumbles, taking a while to get back on his feet due to the bundle in his arms.

"ARE WE GOING TO LOOK FOR IZAYA?" asks Left Shoe.

Shizuo twitches again, but doesn't fall over this time. He says something.

"Shizuo," I say, sighing. "We can't understand you, remember?"

He nods.

"Yes, we're looking for him," I answer for our human, who is now trudging through a snow-filled park.

"LOOKING FOR SKIM? BUT I THOUGHT SHIZUO PREFERRED TWO PERCENT," shouts Left Shoe.

"WELL, HE OBVIOUSLY LIKES SKIM NOW!" replies Right Shoe.

Shizuo's temples throb in irritation. He brushes some snow off his bundle of bedding, grinding his teeth as more snowflakes melt into the fabric. He stuffs it inside his coat and zips it up. Ice crystals begin creeping in around my glass. It's freezing.

"As much as I dislike that scrawny boyfriend of yours," I say, tightening my arms around Shizuo's ears for warmth, "I hope he's okay."

Shizuo nods, sniffing. I wonder if his nose is running from the cold or from the emotional state Shizuo must be in.

"I LOVE THE HOKEY POKEY!" shouts Right Shoe.

Shizuo stops, and I brace myself. We're in the middle of a snow-covered bridge that crosses over a pair of railroad tracks below. I knew Shizuo would only be able to handle this nonsense for so long before losing it. Sure enough, he bends down, rips Right Shoe off, and walks over to the side of the bridge.

"WHAT? HEY!" shouts Right Shoe.

"NO! WAIT!" shouts Left Shoe.

The panic in both of their voices is enough to push me into action. "Shizuo, I know you're mad, but-"

"PLEASE DON'T ABANDON ME!" Right Shoe cuts me off.

_WOOSH!_

Shizuo whisks Right Shoe off of the bridge, the snowflakes swirling around as he soars higher through the air.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" bellows Left Shoe.

"LOOK! I'M FLYING!" shouts Right Shoe, still going up.

"IT'S LIKE THE TITANIC ALL OVER AGAIN!" cries Left Shoe.

"What?" I ask, momentarily distracted from the dire situation.

"YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER LET GO, ROSE!" shrieks Left Shoe.

"I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYY!" Right Shoe sings as he reaches the top of his arch, and then he swiftly begins falling. The drifting snowflakes engulf him, and Shizuo turns from the scene of the crime, hugging his bundled chest tighter as he walks onward with only one shoe.

"HOW COULD YOU?" sobs Left Shoe. "JACK COULD HAVE STILL BEEN ALIVE! I SAW AIR BUBBLES AFTER HE SANK!"

Shizuo continues to walk, and I faintly hear Right Shoe still singing.

"I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKYYY! I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY NIGHT AND DAY!"

"JAAAAACK!"

"I SPREAD MY WINGS AND-!"

And then silence. He must have hit the ground.

The snow muffles everything, making this newfound stillness unbearable. Shizuo's right foot is clearly bothering him, and he begins walking with a limp after two hours of endless searching. The light snowfall has turned into a blizzard, and Izaya is nowhere to be found. Left Shoe still won't stop crying.

"please… please go back…" I can barely hear him, he's whimpering almost to himself now. "right shoe is… please… i won't ever talk again…"

If I had a heart, it would be breaking.

"Shizuo, just go back. Izaya is probably at home by now. He's smart enough to know when to give up." I'm not sure if I believe anything I'm saying, but Shizuo doesn't look so good himself. His foot is probably swollen by now, and I know he regrets tossing Right Shoe off that bridge.

There's still a big chance that Izaya is home, really. Shizuo and Izaya get in countless fights, time and time again, but they always wind up together. It's impossible for them to stay away from each other. And no matter how much I claim to hate Shizuo's relationship with Izaya, I really don't. Jacket isn't as much of a bitch as she tries to be, and the other objects we started hanging around with because of Izaya are now our friends. Everyone's happy… Even I'm happy.

And I want Shizuo to be happy.

Just as Shizuo turns back to go home, a voice cuts through the howling wind.

"Yo… Any brothas out there? This be an S.O.S… cool whip style..." The familiar voice finds it's way to me, sounding exhausted but very, very close.

"Shizuo, stop! I hear Bow Tie!" I exclaim.

Shizuo keeps walking.

"Shizuo, wait! What about Bow Tie? You know, the thing you wear around your neck _every day?_"

Shizuo stops, but he doesn't react in the way I want him to. He doesn't even look as if he gets my point. He can't see the importance in the discovery of his missing accessory.

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" I scream, louder than the shoes have ever screamed before. "IZAYA RAN AWAY WITH BOW TIE! BOW TIE HAS A SOUL! BOW TIE IS WITH IZAYA! I CAN HEAR BOW TIE!"

Shizuo finally reacts like he should. He spins around, peering frantically down the white street.

"BOW TIE!" Left Shoe bellows desperately beneath me. I can hear in his tone that he doesn't want to lose anyone else. "CAN YOU HEAR US?"

"BOW TIE?" I call out as well. Shizuo stays very still, listening.

The only thing we can hear is the wind screaming off the buildings. No response, no gangsta voice calling back at me. Left Shoe muffles a sob.

Did I imagine it?

Are we too late?

"… Homies?"

"Bow Tie!" I laugh, relieved. "Where are you?"

"Specs! Man, am I kickin' to hear you!"

Shizuo follows the sound of his voice, stopping in front of a familiar building. The entrance is set back into the brick walls, leaving two doors protected from the snow. Shizuo bends down and picks something up from the clean concrete, and I want to explode in joy when I see that it's Bow Tie.

"Wazzup, G?"

"BOW TIE!" rejoices Left Shoe.

"Are you okay?" I ask. I can see that he's at least clean.

"Fo sho! Speshly now that youz here, dawg!"

Shizuo looks around, and I suddenly recognize the building we're taking shelter under. It's that headless girl's apartment building. She lives with some lunatic man in a white dress (which claims itself to be a lab coat… suuure).

Shizuo says something.

"Yo, nice ta meet youz, home dawg," says Bow Tie, suddenly conversing with our human. "Well, dis ain't us meetin', perz sayz, but Jacket tells me I can talk witchu now."

Shizuo looks around and says something again.

"Oh. Guess I ain't gonna understand youz, tho. Iz cool, iz cool, we can still be homeboiz," says Bow Tie. Shizuo clenches Bow Tie angrily in his fist.

"I think he wants to know where Izaya is," I say. Shizuo grunts in affirmation.

"Ohh! Dat boy'z in dis building, yo. He dun dropped my ass on accident, I s'pose."

Shizuo sighs and steps away from the entrance, looking up at the windows above.

"He's safe," I say.

"CAN WE GO GET RIGHT SHOE NOW?" yells Left Shoe.

But Shizuo doesn't turn around. Instead, he backs up a few feet, pats the bundle securely under his coat, and then charges at the glass doors with all his might.

You better run, Izaya. Lover boy down here is mad.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I am so sorry.

**Love, CircusRunaway**


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